I'd Rather Be With You
by TinaMichelle21
Summary: David and Erin have a chance encounter during her absence from work, post-rehab. Will they both reveal their true feelings? Rated T for some language.


_Ok so this is my first Criminal Minds fanfic, although not my first piece of writing. Just lately I've started to ship Strauss and Rossi and this was the consequence! :) _

_Its a one shot for now although could be chaptered, if my muse stays with me that is. Hope you enjoy it, and please feel free to leave a review, its appreciated! _

_As usual no copyright intended, I do not own Criminal Minds. I just play nicely. _

I'd Rather Be With You

God he hated these things. Boring bureau mixers filled with dull people, dull music and dull food. The only thing bearable was the scotch.

Raising himself onto a stool by the bar David Rossi allowed himself a sigh, forcing a smile at a passing dignatory before gesturing to the barman for a refill.

He should be used to these things by now, but in truth he much preferred book launches and, well, anything that he was the guest of honor at, but here, he was just another figurehead the bureau trotted out to kiss a few asses and sweet talk some money.

At least whenever he'd had to attend these horrible things he'd usually had a date, but not tonight. The past few months he'd been less and less interested in random dates and an endless stream of attractive woman. Only one woman had been on his mind for the past four months, well in truth she'd been on his mind for twenty years.

But as two ships that always seemed to pass in the night it had never been meant to be. Though it didnt make breathing any easier.

Getting up from his seat he made his way through the crowd, deciding he might aswell at least try some dessert, if nothing else it could prove a distraction from overly friendly wealthy spinsters.

As he passed the open doors to the lobby David froze. Did he really just see what he thought he had seen. Narrowing his eyes he stepped closer towards the door, his heart hammering a little in his chest. Was she really here, in this very building or was she simply a hallucination manifesting from his thoughts.

But as he rounded the corner into the lobby his vision was confirmed.

There she was, looking a little unsettled, pacing slightly across the thick carpet, but nevertheless looking stunning in a purple dress that clung in all the right places, emphasising every tantalising curve.

"Erin?"

At his voice her head shot up, her expression filling with a mixture of fear and panic, although her eyes held a flash of light as they met his.

"David? What are you doing here?"

"What am I doing here? What are you doing here? You're still on leave."

She was still on leave, following her forced departure at the hands of Aaron Hotchner and Derek Morgan, for her own good nevertheless. Four months she'd been gone, four and a half months to be exact, David Rossi had all but counted the days.

Folding her arms across her chest, a defensive move she often employed, Erin stared at him for a moment, her brain trying desperatly to stop thinking about how handsome he looked in his tuxedo. "Family party." She answered with a flick of her wrist in the direction of the other function room across the lobby. "My parents fiftieth wedding anniversary."

There was something in her tone that told David she didnt really want to be here, which wasnt necessarily true. Part of her did want to be here but the other part of her was still a little tense, this being the first real gathering since leaving rehab.

"What about you?" Erin's voice once again broke his thoughts and he smiled, his first genuine smile of the evening and shrugged. "Boring bureau gathering. You're welcome to take over the ass kissing if you'd rather."

As he gestured to the room behind him his smile widened as he saw the smile break through her expression as she raised her eyebrows. "Only if you'll endure the rest of the night in there with my entire family!"

"Tempting. Although not sure what Micheal would think of that he never did like me."

In a second her smile disappeared and David's heart almost stopped, the last thing he wanted to do was upset her.

"Well Micheal's opinion is rather mute since he's not here, we seperated six months ago David before...my absence so.."

"Ah, sorry, me and my big mouth."

"Its ok." She shrugged in response, her eyes not meeting his as she shifted nervously on the spot. She'd never been this nervous around him, ever, maybe it was just tonight, all the pressure of being here, the first real test of her sobriety and now to run into him aswell.

"Look Erin I...you look good, this leave has done you good." He realised he was rambling, and sweating, his palms had clammed up the moment he'd put his foot in it with Micheal and now he was nervous, very nervous. He'd never been nervous in front of a woman his entire life. "When, when will you be back at work do you think?"

"Couple of weeks, give or take. We'll see."

David watched her for a long moment, did she know he knew where she'd been? Hotch had never been able to lie to him and he'd garnered the knowledge fairly quickly. A few times he opened his mouth to reply, the words just seemed to fail him, the tension between them was almost too much to bear, the chemistry was like electricity bouncing from one to the other and in the moment he hoped against hope that she felt it too.

"Erin I..."

Erin's eyes finally raised to meet his, the seconds seemed to pass between them as they simply stared at each other, reading the others eyes as if reading a book.

"Yes?" Her voice escaped as only a whisper, her heart beating faster as she watched him take a tentative step towards her, his mouth opening as he formed his next words until...

"Mom?"

Both Erin and David turned sharply towards the source of the third voice. David's eyes instantly widened at the girl standing only a few feet away. She was the absolute spitting image of Erin, she had the same eyes, the same beautiful blond hair, only longer.

"Chloe."

Erin's 15 year old daughter shifted on the spot a little, a suspicious smile twitching on her lips as if she knew she had interrupted something, torn for a moment on how to proceed. "Sorry, Mom...Grandpa's making his speech so..."

"Oh, right! Its ok Chlo I'm coming."

Chloe smiled at David before she nodded briefly, turning around she allowed her smirk to take hold, knowing her mother wouldnt have thanked for that grin one bit. "Take your time." She added on a whisper as she left the two of them alone once again.

"I should, get back inside." Erin spoke after a long moment, for the first time realising she didnt actually want to walk away from him.

"Yeah. Oh yeah sure go, enjoy the rest of your night."

"You too." She added as she turned slightly, though her feet were reluctant to proceed.

"It was, good to see you Erin."

David watched, a stabbing pain puncturing his chest as she walked away. However cliche'd it might sound he really did worship the ground she walked on, if only he'd have the strength and courage to tell her.

* * *

><p>Sighing a little Erin sat back in her chair. She could hear the voice of her father making his speech but it was as if he was somewhere in the distance. She could hear but she wasnt listening.<p>

Just as she was acutely aware of her children seated around her, flanking her protectively as they had done since her addiction had become public knowledge. Still that surprised her. Never in a million years had she expected them to take her side in the seperation. But they had, and it still overwhelmed her months later, as if she expected to wake up and suddenly be all alone, it being only a dream.

A dream. David Rossi was a dream. A dream in a delicious tuxedo.

Seeing him here tonight had been both terrifying and amazing. They hadnt fought they hadnt exchanged a single poisoned word and it had been...wonderful. Just to be in his presence.

Deep down she had known she had always felt like this, her feelings for him had always been there, they'd simply lain dorment. Her marriage had been the major reason for her supressing her feelings for him, ever since the moment their paths first crossed twenty odd years ago. But now there was nothing stopping her feelings, no husband to hide behind she had her chance, but her pride was now the obstacle in her way.

Sitting forward in her seat she rested her elbows on the table, fighting with herself to focus on the moment right now, to focus on her parents, on her children, anything. But every thought in her head somehow led her back to him. It felt exhilarating, joyous and yet stifling, she was suffocating.

In truth she had no idea how long she prayed for the speeches to end, part of her felt guilty for not listening intently but no matter how hard she fought she just couldnt. The air in the room felt just too hot as if it was pushing down on her. She had to get out.

"I'm just going for some air."

None of her children had time to respond to her comment as the three of them watched her walk away, only Chloe realising this had something to do with the mysterious scene in the lobby.

Erin all but crashed through the glass doors to the veranda, her heels echoing on the cold stone, but still she felt too close, too claustrophobic. Her eyes darted around for a moment, her gaze settling on the gazebo by the lake and her feet automatically began the journey towards it.

Her hands clenched around the railings as she breathed deeply, the sound of the rippling water had the desired calming effect. Although she still couldnt drive him from her mind. Four months she'd been away from work, from him, and she hadnt realised until tonight how much that chapter of her life had meant to her. She'd been so focused on pulling herself back together she had for the first time in years actually managed to push the FBI and David Rossi from her mind and in the space of an hour it had flooded back to her as if a dam had burst somewhere.

This was madness, actual madness. She had to push him from her mind. In three weeks time she would be returning to work, that knowledge should be all she was focused on right now and yet, and yet she couldnt help her heart.

"You'll freeze if you stay out here much longer."

Erin turned so sharply she almost lost her footing, her heart doing battle with her head, part of her wanted to push him away yet the other part wanted to pull him closer.

"Its not that cold." She lied, it was November afterall and she was only lucky that it wasnt snowing.

"Mind if I join you?" David ignored her lie with a smile and stepped onto the gazebo.

"Free country." Rolling her eyes she turned away from him to look out over the lake, mentally berating herself for her comment, why did she always have to rely on sarcasm.

"So hows the party going?" He asked as he came to stand by her side.

"Oh you know, not too bad. If you discount my Aunt Mildred repeatedly voicing her medieval opinion on divorce and other sins."

"Well I'll swap you Aunt Mildred for any of those boring stuffy self obsessed cretins in there."

"Not enjoying the annual drive for investors David?"

She didnt dare look at him, her smile was becoming a little too wide at their lighthearted bantor.

"No I am not! Anyway I didnt follow you out here to talk about work, although it does factor a little bit in my first statement."

"Which is?" Erin risked a sideways glance in his direction, she saw him to turn to the side to face her, leaning a little on the stone railing of the gazebo.

"Hotch told me where you've been these last couple of months." At his words her head instantly whipped to face him, a defiant look on her face that spoke of betrayal, anger and a little hurt but she didnt have the chance to respond as he spoke again. "Dont blame Hotch, he couldnt lie to me, especially since I vowed to discover the truth even if it meant enlisting Garcia to track you through the backlogs of the cyber world."

"Why would you do that?" Her whispered response made him pause, wondering whether or not he should do this, but there was no way he could pass up this chance.

"Because I care, Erin."

"Why?" The flash of doubt in her eyes only tugged at his heart even more but he'd waited too long for this, their both being here tonight seemed like too much of a gift to waste.

"Just because you've been off limits for twenty three years Erin doesnt mean you werent wanted."

Through his words he didnt look at her, his eyes drifting out across the lake as she stared, open mouthed, as if someone had just slapped her across the face.

"You hate me." She replied matter of factly, trying to ignore the pounding of her heart against her ribcage. Never had she factored the thought that he might return her feelings, the anticipation rising within her.

"There's a fine line between love and hate Erin." His eyes met hers and for an indeterminate length of time they just connected. "Did you honestly never consider that my animosity towards you was just masking a deeper feeling."

"Yeah, hatred!" She laughed, lightening the mood momentarily as they both turned to look out across the lake.

"I was really worried about you Erin. So many times I almost came to see you."

"I'm glad you didnt." Erin replied automatically, realising by the look in his eyes that it hadnt come out quite right. "I just mean I'm glad you didnt see me like that, I've been a mess David, its hard enough that my children had to see me like that I couldnt have handled you too."

"It wouldnt have changed how I feel about you Erin. If only I'd seen it, if only it had been me to help rather than Hotch and...Morgan!"

Once again she was drawn into him, watching his frustration coming out made her heart expand yet again and she couldnt help but voice her next words.

"And how do you feel David?"

David was silent for a long moment, turning slowly to face her and she could almost see his answer in his eyes.

"The day I first saw you, in the academy you were so beautiful, you captured me Erin. Right there and then I knew you would never leave my mind. The more I saw of you the more I came to realise that my heart was leaving me for you. Of course I knew you were with Micheal and I would never have made a move while you were together, I would never have put you in that position, I cared about you too much. Over the years, as my feelings only got stronger so did my hatred at the fact I couldnt have you, hence the girlfriends the wives I was looking for the wrong women just to prove to myself that I dont love you so deeply but...I was just lying to myself."

She fought so hard to keep her emotions intact, her voice failed her not that she had any idea what to say, her mind was just too chaotic. She was so overwhelmed, her life had flipped a full 180 on its axis and she had no idea how to handle it. All her life she'd been controlled, detached, always taking the safe side of the proverbial street, never had she taken a risk, especially on something like this.

But maybe it was time she did take a risk. Maybe it was time she finally stopped listening to her head and all the bullshit she put up with everyday, from herself.

Erin had been silent for so long David had begun to panic, worrying that her silence meant that she didnt return his feelings, that she was absolutely horrified at his declaration. He opened his mouth to speak, his brain rapidly searching for a way out but she cut him off.

"David just, dont speak for like a minute, please!"

He obeyed her wish without a word, watching as she closed her eyes, her hand that had raised to stop him from speaking still hung in that place, as if waiting for further instruction from her brain.

A long moment later she opened her eyes, looking deep into his before she stepped forward, her hands going instantly to his neck as she pulled him closer, their lips meeting with a furious passion.

It took David just a split second to respond, his hands going instantly to her hips before slipping around her back, pulling her impossibly closer as he deepened the kiss.

This was like nothing she had ever experienced in her entire life, forty nine years and she had never been kissed like this, with such passion yet tenderness at the same time. She had never imagined that a kiss could make her feel so safe, so protected but perhaps that was just the David Rossi effect.

For how long they kissed they wouldnt know, the need for oxygen being the only catalyst on the earth that would part them. Breathlessly they remained in a tight embrace, Erin's fingertips slid from around his neck and came to rest on his chest, his own arms traced down her back, and in that second she realised the only thing she needed to calm her down was the sensation of David Rossi's hands on her body.

The realisation was enough to trigger a surge of emotion that she couldnt control. So many years being so tense, twenty four hours a day, unable to find anything to relax her controlled demeanor. Yet in a split second, she had found her calming influence, and she never wanted to leave this moment.

Feeling her muscles shudder underneath him David tightened his hold, his breath catching as she laid her head on his shoulder. "Well that was worth a twenty year wait." He whispered, pressing a kiss into her hair as she smiled against him.

"Always with the jokes David."

Pulling back a little she looked up at him, seeing only love and sincerity in his eyes as he smiled back at her, she was so close to him she felt him take a deep breath.

"Erin, does this mean you..."

Erin smiled at his sudden inability to form a sentence but she knew what he was trying to ask. So she summoned all her courage and curled her fingertips around the lapels of his jacket, garnering his complete attention.

"I love you too David. I suppose I always have. Just like you saw me all those years ago...I saw you too. No matter where I went or what I did, you were always there, in the back of my mind."

There were no words he had to match hers, instead he lowered his lips to hers again. This time he didnt deepen it, it didnt need it, he allowed the connection to linger in the air as he moved one hand to the back of her neck, his fingertips teasing through her hair.

As they parted she shivered, and in one sweeping motion she felt David drape his jacket around her shoulders, resuming their embrace seconds later.

"This is going to make work difficult David."

"Dont worry about all that just yet sweetheart, we'll jump that bridge when we get to it."

"But..." The proffessional in her couldnt stop the wave of anxiety, fraternisation rules were there for a reason afterall, but his fingertip against her lips silenced her protest.

"But nothing, there is no way in hell I'm letting you go Erin. Not ever."

* * *

><p>"We should go back inside."<p>

"Oh just a second longer." Chloe turned pleadingly to her eldest sister.

Not long after Erin had left the party her three children had gone in search of her, although as they had descended the stone steps from the veranda they had frozen on the spot, arriving just in time to see their Mom in a rather heated embrace with the man they knew to be the famous Agent David Rossi.

Daniel had rolled his eyes and scrunched up his face in disgust heading straight back inside without a word, the girls however had a slightly more romantic side and had watched for a moment.

"Come on Chloe, back inside!" Emma had laughed and physically twisted her younger sister by the shoulders.

"But its just so...romantic."

"Inside! Now!"

Stealing one last glance they climbed back up the steps, exchanging a few smirks as they went. For the first time in months, perhaps even years, they had witnessed their mother actually looking happy. It was what they had wanted for months, why they had stood by their mother during her seperation and rehab, they wanted nothing more than for her to be happy, truly happy, not just the fake happy she was so good at showing.

And woe betide anyone who tried to spoil Erin's happiness now, not with three teenagers who, like their mother, were a damned force to be reckoned with.


End file.
